New Blog

I started a new blog. This account has started to act kind of funny so I made a new one. http://thechristensensjourneytoafamily.blogspot.com

Cross one more thing off the list.

We got Eric's passport paid for and the application sent off. That's the only other thing we'll be able to do before Eric leaves for the boat, but I'm excited that we finally got it done.

I haven't had another yardsale yet. It's been cold and/or raining on the weekends. My mom will be coming down in a couple weeks to bring some stuff from her house, so maybe I'll have a yardsale the weekend she's here.

Eric's home for a week. They spent 3 weeks in VA and next week they head out to 2 weeks on the boat.

Not much else going on.

Spread the word

I'm going to give you guys a few links and ask you to pass this on to everyone you know. I know that not everyone is able to help, and that's fine, but even if someone can donate a dollar, or has someone to buy a gift for and buys it through one of our fundraisers, every little bit helps.

The links are for a place called BeSem Natural Scents. It's company owned by an adoptive family that makes all natural candles and soaps. They also donate 10% of their profits to orphan relief.

You can shop with paypal, on their etsy site: www.besemnaturalscents.etsy.com

or you can shop with an amazon account on their 1000 Markets site: http://www.1000markets.com/shops/besemnaturalscents .

As long as you write "Christensen fundraiser" in the message to seller, we will receive 25% of each sale.

If you aren't able to help or aren't interested in any of the products, forward this on to someone who might be. We need help networking and getting the word out there to people that we are doing fundraisers. There's no way we'll be able to do this without help.

Update on the plan...

Not much going on here, which is actually really nice. Our plan before was to go for the adoption, but still continue with TTC. Now that I've really decided I'm done TTC, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It was all just so stressful (granted adoption is probably just as stressful) and with all the side effects from the drugs I was just miserable. I'm starting to feel normal again and it's so nice. I've always wanted to adopt, and I wish we had been able to finish the adoption we had started, but before I just wasn't ready to give up on TTC. Now... I've stopped taking all my drugs and I haven't looked back. I'm really ready now. I can focus on raising money for adoption, without the constant stress of TTC in the back of my mind.

So, the new plan is that for the next year (while Eric is gone) I'm going to work on saving money and getting us out of debt, so we can afford to adopt when he gets back. With one more yardsale I should be able to get his passport taken care of before he leaves so I can wait on it while he's gone and we don't have to pay the extra fee to expedite it when he gets back. It normally takes 6-8 weeks for them to process it and mail it to you, but for an extra $60 they'll speed it up and get it done in like 2-4 weeks.

Our plan is to adopt from Russia, I don't know how we're going to come up with the money, but I hope that we'll be able to get grants and loans to help. If I get us out of debt while Eric is deployed our credit will hopefully be good enough for us to qualify for some loans (or at least a consolidation loan to lower our monthly payments and get more in savings). Ukraine is also an option, as will be many other countries by the time Eric gets back because I will only be a couple months away from being 25. So then we will be eligible to adopt from many of the contries that won't accept us right now. Russia has always been our first choice though, and now that I know they won't hold my past use of antidepressants against me, I'm really excited about adopting from Russia. I'm still trying to learn Russian. I have a long way to go before I could have a meaningful conversation, but I've made some progress. I know how to tell you what color my car is, and that I understand a little Russian. So even if we end up not being able to afford Russia, I want to adopt from a Russian speaking country so that I can put my limited Russian skills to good use.

The Adoption Starfish Story

As I walked along the seashore
This young boy greeted me.
He was tossing stranded starfish
Back to the deep blue sea.

I said "Tell me why you bother,
Why you waste your time this way.
There's a million stranded starfish
Does it matter, anyway?"

And he said, "It matters to this one.
It deserves a chance to grow.
It matters to this one.
I can't save them all I know.

But it matters to this one,
I'll return it to the sea.
It matters to this one,
And it matters to me."

I walked into an orphanage,
A young woman greeted me.
She was adopting a little girl,
She was excited, I could see.

I said, "Tell me why you bother,
Why you waste your time this way.
She's only one of thousands,
Does it matter anyway?"

And she said, "It matters to this one.
She deserves a chance to grow.
It matters to this one.
I can't save them all I know.

But it matters to this one,
I'll help her be what she can be.
It matters to this one,
And it matters to me."

Yay for yardsales!

We did pretty well today. We made almost $70, and I had a few more people say they might bring me things they have been wanting to get rid of. Not bad for a few days before payday. I think we'll do even better next weekend, since payday is on Wednesday/Thursday depending on which bank people use. I'm very greatful to everyone who came, a few of them would ask me how much I wanted for something and then give me an extra dollar or two from what I said. I had the yardsale at Niki's house (more yardsale traffic in base housing than way out here by the beach) and her neighbor said she was going to get back to us at tax return time. She was on the list to adopt, having been told she would never be able to have her own children, and ended up pregnant, so she's been where I'm at and apparently wants to contribute more when she has it, which is so amazing to me. I don't like asking people for money because I know times are hard on everyone right now, so the fact that someone would willingly give us money to help us is just so wonderful.

So my adoption savings account now has $60.03 (the rest is in ones and change, so I'm keeping it for change at the next yardsale). Not bad for about 4 hours of work. Theoretically if I do this every weekend and make about $60 each week I could earn about $3000 in a year. I doubt I'll do this every weekend, but it will just depend on how many people continue to donate items for me to sell. That would be a pretty good start though. Plus considering that around the time we'll be getting the process going will be around tax return time again (but 7 months of Eric's pay will most likely be tax free this year, so next years tax return probably won't be much).

Yardsale tomorrow

Tomorrow will be my first attempt at raising money from yardsales. I still have some people who wanted to donate stuff that I haven't been able to get in touch with to get stuff from them, but I've got quite a bit of stuff. I'm just hoping it goes well. My paycheck is late (I can't wait for my direct deposit to kick in) so I'm pretty much out of money until it shows up, but whatever I make tomorrow is going straight into a high interest savings account I have. So far... the balance is 3 cents. Woo hoo.. I'm rich! LOL.

On another note, Eric is in VA for training for 3 weeks. He left yesterday and I'm already about to kill the dog. He's been whining since last night because Daddy hasn't come home. I don't know how I'm going to make it through a 7 month deployment with this dog.

How True

I read this quote today.

"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle.I just wish he didn't trust me so much"--- Mother Teresa

I don't think anything could sum up the way my life is going any better than that. I know that there is a reason for everything, I just wish it made more sense to me. I know that there is some reason that this has been such a difficult process, but that doesn't make it any easier.

Eric is now considering trying to become a drill instructor when he gets back from this deployment. I'm fine with that, but he's going to have to put it off until after we finally get an adoption finished. He's gonna have a very angry wife if he comes back from the boat and voluntarily ends up somewhere else where they won't allow him to take leave. They are not going to allow a new DI to take enough leave to travel overseas to adopt.

What to do...

I finally heard back from the woman at the agency again and she said there are several families interested in the children we are interested in. So, I'm not sure what our course of action should be. There aren't many children available from that country and if someone else gets their paperwork done before us (which I'd say is highly likely considering we haven't even gotten started yet) there aren't any other children available that are in the age range we are considering, without serious special needs.

Honestly I don't know if I could deal with the woman at this agency through a whole adoption. She can't seem to answer more than one question per email, so I'll ask her two questions and have to ask one of them again in a separate email because she won't answer it the first time. I ask a lot of questions... I think I'd start to really get irritated with her.

It's still a possibility, but I'm pretty discouraged that there are already several families interested in those children and we haven't even gotten started yet. Ukraine is still an option, but we can't do anything there until Eric gets back from the boat. I'm emailing some agencies about Russia. Russia was our first choice, but I've been told that because I took antidepressants for a couple of months that we don't qualify. I'm trying to figure out exactly what the requirements are because it just seems wrong to me to disqualify us because of a couple of months of that drug.

The woman from the agency that I've been speaking to is going to keep me updated about those two children, but I think it's very likely that someone will beat us to getting the paperwork finished and we can't afford to spend several thousand dollars on getting things done for that country and then having no children within our age range available for adoption.

So for now, I'm just going to focus on raising money. Everything I get is going into a high interest savings account and it's going to sit there and build interest until we can figure out exactly what to do.

Thank you

Thank you to everyone who has suggested ideas for raising money. I'm having a yardsale this weekend and I've even had someone offer to donate an entire garage full of stuff she hasn't had the time to get rid of. Unfortunately the woman at the agency isn't very speedy at returning emails. We have one issue that may be an obstacle and it's really the only thing keeping me back from getting things moving, but she still hasn't responded to my email yet. Either way I need to raise money. It may just end up sitting in a savings account until Eric gets back from this deployment and end up going toward adopting different children. But I am praying that everything will work out.

I have news... and need help

Well, the adoption we had started isn't going to happen. Paperwork will expire before anything can be done.We knew that was going to happen.

But I found 2 children in a different Eastern European country and after sending a few emails, it looks like we should be able to get the paperwork portion done before Eric leaves and he should be home before we would get a court date. And just incase he's not, this country only requires one parent to travel.

We are going to have to rush through some of the paperwork to get it done while Eric is still here (there are a few things that he has to be physically present for, so a POA won't work). Money is going to be very hard to come up with so I'm going to try to get some fundraisers going again. If any of you have old cell phones that you don't use, or printer ink cartridges that are empty, I can send them in and recieve money for them. Or if anyone wants to take up a collection, I can send you a prepaid shipping label to send them in for us.

If anyone wants a new magazine subscription or needs to renew an old subscription, buying them through www.magfundraising.com/ChristensenAdoption will save you money on the subscription, plus 40% of what you spend will go toward our adoption expenses.

Also if you go to www.currentfun.com , they have a lot of interesting things to buy (household items, magazines, cards, flowers, cookie mix, candies, snacks, and lots of other things). We will also recieve part of the profits from anything you buy from that website.

If you do choose to shop there, there are certain things that you have to enter in the check out process.
The Organization's state is North Carolina
On the next page you choose the organization.
Scroll down until you find "Meredith and Eric Christensen."
Then you just proceed through the checkout like normal.

If anyone is interested in helping out in anyway please let me know. Or if anyone has any fundraising ideas, let me know.

Another TTC update

Since the adoption is on hold for now, we've been back into the fertility treatments. I'm in my third month of Lupron. I'm only doing 4 months total, which the doctor said was fine. Timing is an issue now that Eric will be deploying, so I'll get my 4th shot October 15th(ish) and that will make our first 2 chances to try to get pregnant right around Thanksgiving and Christmas, both of which he'll be here for, so this is our best plan. If I don't get pregnant before he leaves for the boat I'm done with fertility treatments until after we adopt at least one child. The doctor has said that the Lupron treatment is our best chance to get pregnant, so if this doesn't work it's going to mean more tests and more treatments. I don't want to do IVF, it will cost more than an adoption and there's no guarantee of it working. It makes more sense to spend that money on an adoption.

I'm so ready for the fertility stuff to be over. I either want to finally get pregnant, or have the peace of knowing that that isn't the way our family is supposed to happen. Right now everything is just so crazy.

On another note, we're finally going back to church tomorrow. We haven't gone in months, mostly because Eric's schedule has been so crazy, but I've had a lot of times where I didn't feel very happy with God and had no desire to go to church, but I'm realizing once again, that things happen for a reason, whether I can see it or not, and I just need to trust in that.

Decisions

Since we have to put the adoption on hold for about a year I was considering adopting from Poland instead of Ukraine. Originally that is what I wanted to do, since Eric is part Polish. The Polish program takes longer, is more complicated, and more expensive, but there is a much smaller risk of a child with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). For some reason it just doesn't seem to happen as much in Poland as it does in Ukraine. If we go with the intention of adopting a healthy child, we still may get a child who has some delays. If there is no indication of FAS or any other medical reason for the delays, they'll assume that they are a result of the child living in an orphanage. There is always the chance that after getting home and expecting the child to catch up that they don't because of an underlying condition that wasn't diagnosed. From what I have read, those chances are higher in Ukraine than in Poland.

Still, I have this feeling that our child will be in Ukraine. Logic and reasoning tell me that Poland is a safer choice, but my heart keeps pushing me back toward Ukraine. I have a love of the language and the culture that I just can't explain.

We have a long time to wait, but I was hoping to make a decision before Eric deploys because I'd like for both of us to learn a little of the language, so we need to know which language to learn.

I've learned over the last few years that God's plans don't coincide with mine. Now I'm also learning that his plans aren't always the one's that make the most sense. I keep trying to change our plans to work with whatever situation we are put in (domestic adoption, Poland, Asia, or adopting Jo's baby), but He keeps bringing me right back to the same decision and the same feeling... Ukraine is the right choice for us. It may be more risky, and yes we may adopt a child with special needs. But even with biological children you have the risk of a child with serious special needs, it can happen to anyone regardless of family history. We have control over the types of special needs we can handle (probably just correctable special needs) and which children we want referrals for.

This just feels like it is what we are meant to do...

We're still keeping our fundraising efforts going. We have some simple fundraisers going that donate money when people buy either magazines, or anothe website that has lots of knick-knackish around the house things, cookie mixes, candies (gift ideas for the holidays???). Here is the link to the post (or you can just scroll down to find it). Take a look... see if there is anything you might like... http://christensenadoption.blogspot.com/2008/02/fundraising.html

Done with our home study

So yesterday we got the final notarized copies of our home study report. We got 2 copies and USCIS (INS) got 1. We have been approved to adopt a child under the age of three from Ukraine. Our application will be processed in order of filing date. Ours was filed 12-23-07 so it should be processed by late April. My letter says that I shouldn't call and inquire about it until May 10th. I plan on calling as soon as I wake up that day to call them if I haven't recieved my I-171H from them yet. The I-171H is the government's approval form. They go over all of the paperwork we sent them, and our fingerprints we had done in Charlotte, and they determine whether they will approve us to adopt. I can't see why they wouldn't so I'm not too worried about it.

Now I've started gathering the documents for our Dossier (application that we send to Ukraine). This is where things start getting expensive. I have to pay for some of the documents that we need, we have to pay for county stamps and state stamps, then I have to pay Cathy at Ukrainian Angels for her services and I have to pay for the facilitators. So I have to find a way to come up with $6000 in the next few months. I don't know how we're going to do it, but we will find a way.

TTC Update

Ok, so I've decided that I'm tired of being miserable all of the time. I was supposed to get my second Lupron shot yesterday, but I'm not going to. We are doing something wonderful by adopting a child, I want to really get to enjoy the process. We are still young, and since Eric is most likely going to retire from the military, we have about 15 more years of health insurance that covers 100%. Maybe, once we have the adoption finished and are settled at home with our new child, we'll start trying to have biological children, but for now I want to focus on our adoption.

The baby's room

Eric's dad is building us a crib and dresser/changing table. The changing table part comes off the top and it can be just a dresser, and the crib turns into a toddler bed. I've also pretty much decided on bedding. It's called Koi and i think the little fish is just way too cute. It reminds me of a pillow that Niki bought for me. The paint that we picked out is light blue with a darker blue for stripes, so it will match really well. Don't have any pictures of the room itself yet. It's still filled with a friend's things. As soon as some progress is made I'll put pictures on here.

Fundraising

Ok, so adoption is a very expensive thing. I'm trying to find ways to raise some money.

If anyone wants a new magazine subscription or needs to renew an old subscription, buying them through www.magfundraising.com/ChristensenAdoption will save you money on the subscription, plus 40% of what you spend will go toward our adoption expenses.

Also if you go to www.currentfun.com , they have a lot of interesting things to buy (houshold items, magazines, cards, flowers, cookie mix, candies, snacks, and lots of other things). We will also recieve part of the profits from anything you buy from that website.
If you do choose to shop there, there are certain things that you have to enter in the check out process.

The Organization's state is North Carolina

On the next page you choose the organization. Scroll down until you find "Meredith and Eric Christensen."

Then you just proceed through the checkout like normal.

Our Adoption Timeline

Dec 14, 2007 - Mailed the homestudy application.

Dec 18, 2007 - Got a phone call from our social worker and set up our first appointment.

Dec 21, 2007 - Mailed I-600A to USCIS

Dec 22, 2007 - Met with Rose, our social worker. Really like her!

Dec 29, 2007 - Second meeting with Rose.

Dec 30, 2007 - Home visit with Rose. SO much easier than I had thought!

Jan 23, 2008 - I had my medical form filled out at the doctor's office.

Feb 7, 2008 - Got our fingerprints done in Charlotte.

Mar 11, 2008 - Sent My passport off to be renewed with the right last name.

Mar 21, 2008 - Am VERY impressed with the government. I got my passport back in just 10 days (without paying the extra fee for speedy processing).

March 27 - 28, 2008 - Eric went to medical to get his form filled out and the Navy insisted on doing a full physical and updating his shots.

March 28, 2008 - Faxed paperwork to Rose! We are DONE with home study stuff!!

April 3, 2008 - Applied for a grant through the National Adoption Foundation.

April 4, 2008 - Happy birthday to me! We recieved the draft of our homestudy. Everything looks good so far.

April 8, 2008 - Got the final copies of our homestudy, which means USCIS should have their copy too.

April 19, 2008 - Recieved our I-171H today. We're approved to adopt 1 child, of either sex, age 0-3 years :)

July 15, 2008 - Eric was transfered down to VMM-263. He'll be deploying in the Spring and won't be allowed leave after September '08. So we'll have to start the adoption process again when he gets home in Fall 2009.

I will be updating this as things move along...

Our Journey Thus Far

So as a lot of you already know, we are in the process of adopting a child from ukraine. We are still waiting for our homestudy report to be finished. Getting Eric to actually go to medical isn't the easiest thing, and we're still waiting for letters of reference from friends. Our next step is going to be to get my passport renewed with my married name on it and get one for Eric.

We had a pretty stressful situation a couple of weeks ago. We thought that Eric would not be able to get enough leave for us to travel to Ukraine, so we started looking into domestic adoption. While I would love to adopt a newborn, it just didn't feel like the right decision for us. We've gotten information together for the people in his squadron, so that they understand why and how we've made this decision. After talking to a few people, we know that Eric should be able to get 30 days of leave with no problem (assuming that his shop doesn't cause issues). That way he should be able to be there to meet the child and do the court hearing and then come home. I can stay to finish the process after that. I'm hoping that he'll be able to get more leave or get PTAD orders so that he can stay for the whole process.

I'm still hoping that we can have biological children, but right now I'm just going to focus on the adoption (If you don't want to know about my reproductive system now is the time to stop reading LOL). For the next 6 months biological children are out of the question anyway. In my laparoscopy, the doctor found endometriosis, so I'm now on a medication called Lupron to treat that, which also puts me into menopause (fun fun fun!). The doctor also found that one of my fallopian tubes is blocked. If that was caused by the endometriosis, it may open back up after the Lupron injections. I'm also still on medication to treat my polycystic ovaries. We're finally beginning to understand why it has been so hard for us to get pregnant.

That's about all i can think of to say for now.